Back on the Wagon

As many of you know, I took a little hiatus this last month. I had some relationship things to work out, and then my grandmother passed away after a long "run" of 96 years. The trip back to be with the family was an odyssey in and of itself, as was the trip back home, and the impact of her passing left me more melancholy and emotionally depleted than I had anticipated.

I spent the last month reconnecting with my husband, getting back in touch with my inner voice and basically being very gentle with myself. I also had a 4-day camping event wherein I, along with many other stellar folks, assisted our friend with stage 4 cancer to "enjoy" her last SCA (living history, medieval reenactment) event ... for now, anyway...

The last week, I have been thinking about running; remembering what it feels like to be strong, flexible and rested, to have reserves of physical and emotional strength to draw upon. I have been imagining my days starting off with a run as part of my morning routine. I am imagining how my body vibrates when I'm eating lots of healthy vegetables and grains and limiting my fats and especially animal products.

So last night, after a few prior attempts to motivate myself, I set my running gear on the dining room table. Why there, you may ask? It's not as convenient as the bathroom, not as obvious as the kitchen counter... it is the first thing I see when I walk into the kitchen in the morning, AND the first thing I see when I open the door after coming home from work. I missed the hook first thing in the morning (bypassed the shoes for a morning yoga session and breakfast and a chat with my son), but at work, I thought of those clothes sitting there on the dining room table all day, knowing I would see them when I came home. And just like that, I started planning my after-work afternoon - quick car trip to the college for my ID and bus pass, then pick up necessitites at Costco (that whole trip only took me an hour!!), and then home. I walked in, picked up my shoes and clothes, found my iPod, fresh with my latest favourite tunes (GLEE!!), instructed my boys to unload the car and .... okay, well, I fiddled and procrastinated for another 10 minutes, but THEN! .... I walked out that ever-lovin' door.

Today's lesson was not about how far I ran, or how fast I pushed myself, what my time, distance and/or heart rate was. It was about getting. out. that. door. Yay me!